Mission 025: Live Weapons Testing
May. 3rd, 2012 11:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Just after the contaiment breach was sealed and half of the surviving personnel were back on duty, Wheatley stopped down to check on Chelldon. The morning's water cool chatter had been boring and besides, today he had something important to do. Something that would make his name stand out! Oh, sure, it helped that lots of people that might have stood in front of him got eaten or committed suicide when it looked like some evil other-dimension monster was going to poke their eyes out and use their skulls for planters...
But Wheatley didn't let that get him down!
Quite chuffed in fact, he arrived at Chelldon's room quite early with his morning rations and beamed at the Test Subject. "Oh, have we got plans today! You are going to LOVE this!"
But Wheatley didn't let that get him down!
Quite chuffed in fact, he arrived at Chelldon's room quite early with his morning rations and beamed at the Test Subject. "Oh, have we got plans today! You are going to LOVE this!"
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 08:28 pm (UTC)Ohh! Maybe Tyler was going to be decomissioned? Wheatley started to giggle...darkly. The other machines sort of ignored him.
It was always best just to ignore him.
"You're going to be fine, just fine. The botos will be fixed, no one will know. I think we should have your neck looked at next. It seems to be on a wrong way hinge."
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 08:46 pm (UTC)"Twenty-five."
That was all he needed to say, they had successfully managed to complete 25 tests and they'd had no hitches thus far, bullets hardly counted, that was all down to Wheatley being a bit useless.
When the medic finally came out, he groaned in dismay at yet another injure today. "Did this one lose his teeth when the guns backfired because we did put that disclaimer out through GLaDOS."
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 10:10 pm (UTC)He'd learned long ago to listen to the man when he opened his mouth -- and then promptly dismiss him too because mostly it was nonsense. This time around, Chelldon's words made him smile.
"Twenty-five is a brilliant, fantastic number, Chelldon. You should be proud. And all of this despite the brain damage."
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 10:15 pm (UTC)These people had clearly never taken the Hippocratic oath and didn't give a damn about human pain. But it could be worse, he remember the time he witness Doctor Handy stitching a test subjects arm up... and accidentally stitching his skin to his lab coat. It had not been pleasant to watch the separation when Handy made a swift run to answer the door.
"There we go, now all you need is some drugs. They'll help with the painkillers but not with... rest," the medic gestured at the whole of Chelldon and he could help but look confused because seriously? What the hell was wrong? He felt fine!
Being silent was clearly something they couldn't comprehend well.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 10:29 pm (UTC)"Oh, well, looks like we'll have to try the cafeteria. Test Subjects aren't allowed there so I need you to just keep your head down and follow me and don't do anything at all brain damaged. If anyone asks, you're my cousin Steve from Engineering."
Well, Wheatley never said that the majority of the people here were bright.
Smarts and genius didn't always match up.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 10:39 pm (UTC)He was starting to think it might be a lie.
The canteen was all nice and shiny, he'd ever been there before. Unable to hide his awe, he wandered behind Wheatley. His cores never let him into these sort of places before, it was definitely one of the highlights of having Wheatley as is guide.
It heightened the chances of cake!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 11:11 pm (UTC)"Defective," he murmured to the chocolate frosting. "Honestly, the people here, the chef robots should be fired. Trying to feed people this-- The sheer amount of calories-- Miserable! Unforgivable. Nearly as bad as the science fair during take your son to work day. Honest, potato batteries, the lot of them."
He kept muttering to himself until they got outside and then burst out a resounding: 'run!"
Everyone in the cafeteria just thought they were mental and went back to eating.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 11:20 pm (UTC)And cake was amazing, frankly, he didn't want it to have to end.
He only slightly listened to Wheatley complain about the bring your son to work day. Oh he remembered that perfectly, a potato clock and then being told it was the perfect day to have him tested. And he'd never left. Or seen his battery clock again.
He didn't even realised what was happening beyond the cake hence he barely heard the run command, licking his fingers, he took off in a scamper, half a cake still in his hands.
He was living the dream here!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 11:32 pm (UTC)Wheatley, in his infinite wisdom, always failed to read the most urgent memos, mostly because he liked to take his time with things and urgent just seemed so urgent! Someone would likely fill him in.
That was his story at least.
Back in Chelldon's room, Wheatley wrinkled his nose to watch the other man eat.
"You'll vomit. Oh, please don't vomit! Try to swallow it if it happens!"
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 11:39 pm (UTC)Once he was done rather messily and horribly devouring the cake, he licked the chocolate off his hands and wiped the excess onto his sleeve. He was a bit like a toddle who had been giving a chocolate bar.
Looking at Wheatley, he half smiled. For a moron, he wasn't half bad.
"Thank you, scale of one to brilliant ... you rank brilliant," yes, he remembered the scale nonsense and credit where credit was due, he wasn't going to offer the moron much more than that.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-03 11:42 pm (UTC)"Of course I am! But it's brilliant that you've just discovered this. Bit slow for a human but with the brain damage I suppose you might well be the best yet! Then again, you are covered in chocolate...right. Okay, to be expected, given the lack of sanitisation devices in this room..."
Wheatley sighed.
"Oh, it's going to just smell awful tomorrow, I know it. And now look at you, all hyped up on sugar!"
no subject
Date: 2012-05-04 12:01 am (UTC)And yet Wheatley was offering him all these changes.
"Test?" he chirped, cocking his head to the side, going into a test now was not only wrong but very bad and even someone like Wheatley should know that a bouncing chocolate covered man would not do well against robots and death machines.
But he didn't know what to do with all that energy.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-04 12:11 am (UTC)His eyebrows shot up and he got to his feet.
"What could it possibly hurt?"
Famous last words.